Friday, August 21, 2009

Card Party Chronicles, Part 2: Training Day. The Characters...And that Hunch Punch

Like I said, I attended a card party last weekend, thrown by my beloved book club sista Kim. (See previous post for part 1).

I could not partake of the meatballs and hot wings (they sho nuff looked good), but I navigated around the spinach dip and crackers.

Kim tried to be a good hostess. "I got some salad upstairs, Lee. You want some of that."

"Nawl girl!" I yelled. "I got salad at home!"

She was done with me. I'd decided to keep fooling with he spinach dip.

But I thought this would be a good time to learn how to play spades.

For my book club sistas are a congenial crew. They would be patient with me... Right?

And on that note, I must talk about the "characters" at the party.

First of all, there was my first ever spades partna... Monie Love.

I didn't start playing immediately. I just decided to watch what she was doing, since she and whatever partner she had were winning games.

Now, I've known Monie Love for about 4 years, I believe. We've been in the same book club for the same amount of time. But we are both quiet, which mean we don't talk much. There was talk a couple of years of go of a casino trip, and I just remember this quiet chick saying "Hey, we can't leave if the tables are hot!"

She had this wild look in her eyes when she said that. I don't know what that meant. I thought to myself "I don't need to fool with this chick. Get somewhere in some casino in some back room with some hardcore gangstas and get shot fooling with her."

You have to watch us quiet folks.

But Kim's Mama, who lived next door to Kim, stopped through, and was Monie Love's spade partner, and they were winning games. Kim's Mama did her thing and got the hell on... She's more of a Bid Whist woman, you see. (Yeah, old school card player)... I think we all were mere amateurs to this oldschool player, who swiped up winning books with ease.

Monie Love was also Kim's spades partner for awhile. I continued to watch, ask questions, and try to understand what was going on.

Anyway, I whined about wanting something to drink. Monie Love said I should try the punch.

"It's spiked, Man!" I whined.
"It's good!" she replied.
"Well give me half a cup."

Monie Love gave me a whole cup.

"Why you give me so much?"
"I put ice in it, Lee."

I stared down into the cup of punch. I drank it all. It was good, and wasn't even strong!

I wasn't playing cards then. Just watching the action on the table. Monie Love was winning games. I was trying to figure out if she was cheating, lol.

By that time, the Green Eyed Bandit, the chick solely responsible for my consistent blogging habits, made an appearance. She called next game, and leaned on a chair next to me to watch the action.

All of a sudden the room was floating...

I looked over at Bandit, who was standing still, but was blurring out and floating....

"I feel weird. Kim, what did you put in that punch?"
"Girl, it ain't that bad."

The room continued to float. I held on to the table. "I feel like that dude in training day. You put some dust in the punch."

"Aw Lee, just some tequila and rum."

I looked over at Monie Love. She was concentrating on her cards.

That chick put something in my punch.

She's undercover gangster. She was dressed in black from head to toe. She drives a nice conservative Volvo.

But I noticed this Volvo sitting out in the driveway was sitting on 20s. Hmmm....

Interestingly, this woozy feeling lasted all of 5 minutes. I have NO idea what that was about. (Maybe I was drunk... I haven't been drunk in 10 years.)

Lesson learned: Don't let Monie Love fix my drink EVER again.

Kim called a cousin of hers. She wanted him to stop by... and she was mumbling to herself, hoping dude would be on his best behavior, that he would bring it down a few notches.

So in walks Kim's cousin, who we will call "Big Poppa"

And that's when the party kicked up a few notches....

to be continued later today.


  1. OMG!!!!!!! ROFL at you and the hunch punch!!!!!

  2. About that drink:

    "Ain't nobody put no gun to your head"

    - Alonzo
    Training Day - 2001

  3. ROFL! This is too funny! I should have answered the evite...but I don't play cards and folks at the card tables scarce me :) --This however was a comedy and that is my type of fun!

    Lady Lee got tipsy! with spiked punch --no less :) too funny!


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