Sunday Night Musings

'Tis the last day of my 30 day challenge!

I missed 2 days of posting, both on the weekend, I believe. And both times, I was laid out across the bed, thinking about getting up and posting something before I go to sleep. But it's been more like...

"...as soon as the next commercial comes on, I'll get up and post something."

Well the next thing I know it's morning.

And I missed a day of posting.

But I must say, posting 28 days out of 30 days is not bad.

Not bad at all.

Alas, we have reached the final day. Maybe I will keep it up. I don't see that, but I have a whole list of posts I want to do so I want to get those out.

I stubbed my toe last night, and the way I was feeling, I hope the sucker isn't broken.  And it's not even the big toe, it's the toe next to the little toe. Every time I tried to walk last night and this morning, there were shots of pain! Who would've thought one small member of the body could affect everything like that? Wow.

I decided if I couldn't walk well enough by Monday, I would go get an x-ray to make sure it's not broken. I was able to hobble around and do some cleaning late this afternoon. I don't know if it's getting better, or if the pain meds kicked in real good.

We shall see tomorrow. Hmm.

Anyway, I watched a stream of my church service this morning and I wrote down a couple of notes concerning things that I'd been pondering as of late.

-If you are not content with yourself, you will continue to try to be like someone else. 

I never thought about it that way. But the more I look around, especially on social media, it is the truth through and through.

I am content with me, but I am constantly working on that. I think in the past 10 years or so, I have begun to understand that I don't want huge swatches of time passing where I am in a state of discontent. I want to be content where I am... while on the way to my destination, where I'm going.

-There is too much ahead of you, too many great things in your future, for you to spend time worrying about mistakes and missteps in your past. 

Not sure that sentence makes much sense. That's how I scratched it out in my notes.

In essence it means stop worrying about mess from your past. And press and look forward to the bright future ahead of you. And I think, just expanding that a little, be in high expectation of a good future... on purpose.

I have recently seen a someone that is upset about something that happened in their past. Not about something that happen last week or last year, mind you, but something that happened over 30 years ago.

30 years ago!

I spent time thinking about that, and wondering how is the best way to not let that happen. I don't have much of anything that bothers me like that.

You know, a mustard bottle may appear empty. But if that mustard is squeezed hard enough, some mustard is going to come squirting out.

Mustard being anger, that is. Circumstances tend to expose a range of emotions.

Maybe during quiet times of my life, bad feelings that have laid dormant in my heart, like my issues with my parents. When it comes to heartbreaks, I have found that it takes me one to two years to get over them. I know I am good when I can stand still and search my heart and can fully say that I feel absolutely nothing about the situation. I'm not angry or pissed or anything.

I have had falling outs with friends and it seems to take me about 6 months to get over and past that. I have had to realize that certain people are meant to be in my life for a reason or for a season. And those seasons and reasons have come to an end and it's time to move on.

You will never see a facebook or twitter fight break out with me involved. Especially since I'm getting older, approaching 50.

Thank goodness for the blog, because I have written profusely about such things, whether outright or in between the lines.

What do I want overall? I just don't want long swatches of times to go by where I'm actively angry about something or someone... and that anger is expressing and manifesting itself in some harmful ways. I spend much time being introspective about such matters, and doing personal journalling.

And just hearing some of those points hit on today during the sermon helped me understand that I am doing what I need to do to keep from living in my past and learning to be content with ME.

And that's a good thing.

That is it for my Sunday musings. I would go back and edit it, but uh... you will just have to piece together what you can from it!

1/3rd of the year is officially over... 2/3rds of the year is ahead of us.

Let's press on in expectancy of great things!

Have a good week!